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September 19, 2008

Question :

Dear Toko Cinta,

I have a boyfriend, his initial is "I", we have this relationship for more than 2 years now. For the past 2 years, he had disloyal to me and having another close relationship with one of his girl-friend. 

They often going out together and they also send text and call eachother frequently.

2 months ago, I found out about this problem. He apologized to me and promised me that he will never do that again. I still love him very much, so I forgive him. But honestly, I couldn't forget his mistakes.

My question is, Should I still trust him ? What should I do if he do the same mistake again ?

Regards, Eka, Denpasar - Bali


Our Advice :

Dear Mbak Eka,

First of all, thank you for contacting us, we are really happy if we could give our advice to help you :)

Disloyalty is an interesting theme to discuss but its also very hurt if we had to experience it by ourself. :)

Therefore, will continuing to discuss some themes about disloyalty in our upcoming love articles and tips. So, don't miss it, ok ? :)

We are also sympathize for the problem of which you are experiencing right now. It is hard and painfull when someone we trust and love sudenly cheats us. It will take a long time to heal our heart and to grow a trust to that same person. Its a very long, pain and hard process to do, but you must be strong and patient.... :)

We are also very proud of you because you dare to give your forgiveness to your love one. it takes a lot of courages and a big heart to do such thing like that :)

2 years are not a short periods of time for a relationship. We are preety confident that you are already know your love one very good.

It is true when we said that trust is one of many elements of love, and you have already decided to forgive your love one. it is normal for you if you needs more time to grow back your trust. it is very hard to do, but there is nothing wrong to try, everyone deserves a second chance, right ?

But, if one day he do the same mistake again by cheating you, then obvious for you to take the real action. It might be hurt for you, but its all for your own happiness.

For us, when someone did a mistake and apologize, then its better for us to forgive that person. But when that same person do the same mistake to us, its obvious that that person didn't mean with what he/she said. In other words, he/she didn't have any commitment and responsibility. Then why do we have to keep this person ? This world is very huge, and we are REALLY DESERVE to be happy with someone we love and love us back sincerely. (you will need to remember, disloyalty is not an element of love.)

If at the early stage of relationship we are already loose our trust to our love one, because he/she had done the same mistakes, not just for once (but many times), then we could imagine what will be happen at the next stage of relationship..... Nobody can be really happy on a relationship if they don't have trust and sincere love to one another.

*******Everyone DESERVE to be happy with someone they love and love them back sincerely.*******

Finally, its all up to you, and we are confident that you could take your own decisions for your own happiness.

Last but not least, we would like to remind you, never doubt the power of love, and never loose your hope on love.

Love is the best gift from God, and love can make our life meaningful.

May you find your true love.



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