Recipes for a healthy relationship December 02, 2008
All of us definetely want to love and be love. But, some of us still have so much problems doing so. They even do not know what a healthy relationship looks like. Therefore we would like to share some recipes about how to make a healthy relationship that we have collected from various source and examples arround us.
We do hope that this special recipes will be useful especially for those who start to begin a new special relationship ;)
Don't jugde a book from its cover As a matter of fact, it is advisable to choose your partner carefully and wisely. We usually attracted to someone else because of some particular personal reasons. Maybe because they look like someone from our past or from our previous relationships, or just because they often give us many gifts or special attentions. We really have to evaluate someone who we want to have our relationship with to prevent regrets in the future. What we should consider from them such as their personality, personal values, how they get involved with others, their commitment, their characters, how they see the world around them, their honesty and many more… And of course, honesty is a must, you don't want to end up in a relationship full of lies and deceives …. Always remember, love may blind, but marriage will open our eyes.
Be honest one to another We are sure that you don't want to fall in love with someone who expects lots of dishonesty in a relationship. They'll always found a way to create it whenever it doesn't exist.
Ask yourself what you really want and need, and then speak it out loud and clearly Don't assume that your partner will always understand what you have in mind, without having to tell them, of course. Men and women are often have different point of views. And your partner is not a mind reader. Instead of arguing, why not discuss it ? If you don't like something that your partner is doing, ask about it to him or her and ask the reason why he or she is doing it.
Respect each other is important Sometimes it is wise for you to learn to look at things from your partner's perspective as well as your own. Always act in better ways, inside and outside the relationship, so that your partner will always maintain respect for you. Mutual respect is essential in a good relationship.
Always cooperate with your partner View yourselves as a team, which means you are two unique individuals working together to bring different perspectives and strengths. Relationships ONLY work when there are two-way of directions, with much give and take. In this case, mutual understanding are essential. Working together through the hard times will make the relationship grows stronger.
Solve problems at the earliest time they arise Don't wait until its too late. Know how to manage differences, it's the key to success in a relationship. Disagreements don't sink relationships, but your bad acts do. Learn how to handle the negative feelings that are the unavoidable effect of the differences between you and your partner. Avoiding the conflicts is NOT the best solution. The only best way to escape from a problem is to solve it. Most of relationships fail because of miss communications and miss understandings, leading partners to create defenses against one another and eventually turn them to become strangers, or even enemies.
Don't be afraid to ask for a forgiveness and to give one Never go to sleep while you are still angry. Nobody's perfect. Anyone can make a mistake. Repair attempts and willingness to make up after an argument are crucial to create happiness in a relationship. Recognize that all relationships have their ups and downs, and do not always run smooth all the time.
Listen to your partner's concerns and complaints without judgment There is nothing wrong to learn to negotiate. Every couples create their own roles, so that virtually every act requires negotiation. Everythings can be negotiated and renegotiated all the time. It works best when good will prevails. Much of the time, just having someone listen is all we need for solving problems. And empathy is crucial. It is very wise if sometimes you could look at things from your partner's perspective as well as your own.
Sex is not the only way to prove your love to your partner Especially in the beginning of a relationship, attraction and pleasure in sex are often mistaken for love and often misused to prove your love to your partner. You do not have to prove your love to your partner through sex if you don't want to. There are still a lot of ways to express your love to your love one, perhaps with some sincere attentions, that is more than enough.
Always work hard to maintain closeness Closeness in a relationship doesn't happen by itself, a hard work and lots of efforts are needed to create it. When it were absence in a relationship, couples tend to drift themselves apart and finally separated. Realized that a good relationship isn't an end goal, but it's a lifetime process maintained through regular attentions.
Never expect one person can fulfil all of your needs in life Therefore, enrich your relationship by bringing new interests from outside the relationship into your relationship. Some dependency to your partner is good, but a complete dependency on your partner to fulfil all your needs is an invitation to unhappiness for both you and your partner. This is true for men as well as for women.
Wise men learn from their experiences Don't just run away from a bad relationship, you'll only repeat it with the next partner. A marriage is an agreement to spend a future together. Use the lessons from your previous relationships as a mirror to look at yourself, and to understand why do you want to create this relationship, so that you won't repeat the same mistakes again. Understand that love is not an absolute or a limited commodity that you can take it if you feel you want it or you can throw it away when you no longer want or need it. Love is a feeling that flows depending on how you treat each other. Change yourself before you change your relationship.
May your days be filled with lots of love, now and always...